Hollywood: Celebrity Pranksters
By Tim Parks
As a lifelong prankster, I absolutely love when April Fool’s Day rolls around; it’s a time of year that I am fully subscribed should be extended to a whole month rather than one measly day.
Ever since I was a kid and got my April Fools on by putting spiders in my parents slippers – of course that was practicing safe joking as the arachnids were rubber- to when I grew older, the glee that I relished at a joke gone over well proved every bit as satisfying.
Whether it was smashing up Junior Mints and placing them in my nephew’s underwear – not when he was wearing them, as this isn’t an episode of Touched By An Uncle on Lifetime – taken from his overnight bag and forging a note explaining that he had an accident. And from the amount of faux poo, it looked more like he was an accident victim.
Somehow the tides have slightly turned and the joke’s been on me more often than not, as of late. The best example is having a live chicken tossed into the shower with me, but come April Fool’s Day vengeance will be mine and more bitter than sweet, ok?
As a pop culture kind of guy, I will definitely be looking towards celebrities for guidance as they have a proven track record for getting the better of their peers via pranks. But, trust me I will not be aiming my sights on Justin Bieber for help, especially in the area of how best to egg a house. No, I’ll just wait until he self-destructs and or comes out with his own line of feminine hygiene products before I pay him any more attention.
I’ll Take Pranksters for $100, Alex.
Chances are if you were a cast member of Ocean’s Eleven and any of its sequels, then you know your way around a joke, like Lindsay Lohan’s lips know their way around, um, a cigarette. Yes, that was the analogy I was looking for. The ring leader of this game of one upmanship is George Clooney and while filming was underway on Ocean’s Twelve in Italy, he drafted a memo to the Italian crew that they were not to look Brad Pitt directly in the eyes during filming and signed it from Pitt. Oh man, that is almost on par with the one that he tells his girlfriends that he wants a long term commitment.
Speaking of commitments, Pitt sought his revenge by telling Italian reporters that he would get married once Clooney was able to marry his boyfriend -oh you crazy hets! Co-star Matt Damon made it a comic three-way by confirming to said media that they had been on Clooney’s ass, err, case to make it right by his boyfriend and walk down the aisle.
Johnny Depp literally caused a stink when he employed the services of a remote controlled fart machine on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Ironically, his co-star Penelope Cruz had already caught wind of this brand of shenanigans on the set of their movie Blow, during which time Depp would utilize his brand of crop dusting during dramatic scenes. She probably figured one of the crew had indulged in one too many cups of Nespresso.
Ashton Kutcher is regarded as a jokester of the highest order…remember that time he married Demi Moore? What a caution! Or more than likely, it is because of his update of TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes that was called Punk’d and had the Two and a Half Men star pulling stunts on his celebrity friends. In the annals of the show, one of the most infamous jokes occurred during the first season and involved Justin Timberlake.
JT was lead to believe that the tax man was taking his possessions and appeared quite choked up by the humiliating experience – perhaps it inspired his hit song title “Cry Me A River?” At any rate, the pop star/actor admitted later that he was very lovestoned at the time of filming. Well, that’s just high-larious.
The good looking actor with a penchant for pranks got its evolution with the man with the baby blues, Paul Newman. Usually the jokes were part of knocking his director down a few pegs for not using his input during filming. Case in point, when his Slap Shot director George Roy Hill refused to buy drinks for the crew, he faked a tragic car accident with the actor playing possum behind the wheel.
Surprisingly, you would have thought that after having Newman sawing his desk in half during filming on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and his car in half during The Sting that ol Georgie would have gone on Wheel of Fortune and bought a clue. Newman was pranksta gangsta!
Poor Jimmy Kimmel must be a bottom, because he is always the butt of the joke. When then-girlfriend Sarah Silverman appeared on his late night chat show in a video she made, she announced to Kimmel that “I’m f#$%ing Matt Damon.”
The talk show host and the actor have been engaged in a faux feud since the show’s inception, Kimmel was notorious for ending his show with, “I want to apologize to Matt Damon. We ran out of time.” He even filmed the parody response to Silverman’s “disclosure” that he was, in fact, giving it to Ben Affleck in retaliation.
The Joke’s On You!
Unfortunately for Kimmel, even his wedding day isn’t sacred as was evident in Gabourey Sidibe’s entrance to his nuptials, during which she wore a wedding dress, in order to steal the spotlight away from his bride Molly McNearney. Isn’t that precious?
The red carpet conjures up a lot of images of glitz and glamour, but there can sometimes be a darker hue to that fabled stretch of textile.
When Tom Cruise was attending the London premiere of War of the Worlds in 2005, members of Britain’s Channel Four show called Balls of Steel conducted an interview with Cruise and used a fake microphone. Now how could that go wrong? In terms of comedy it went right, as the microphone proved to be a squirt gun in disguise and Tom took a shot of the wet stuff to the face. Surprisingly, he did not enjoy it like one would think and chided the men calling them “jerks.” Real mature, Tom.
Sacha Baron Cohen is known for his offbeat, and sometimes off-putting, sense of humor. At the 2012 Academy Awards, Cohen attended decked out as his upcoming movie character The Dictator. First clue for E! Live From The Red Carpet host Ryan Seacrest that something was amiss was that the actor was holding an urn. Seacrest should have asked himself who he was wearing, after Cohen “accidentally” spilled the contents of the urn on the diminutive media mogul. Dude, it could have been worse; he could have been promoting Bruno!
And it doesn’t matter how much “talent” you exude in Tinsel Town, you can fall prey to pranks from regular folks. Kim Kardashian found herself at the receiving, ahem, end of a flour bomb at The London Hotel in West Hollywood whilst promoting her perfume True Reflection. The act was reportedly a protest from PETA against the actress’ wearing of fur. Um, that’s just mean, she is Armenian after all.
Wow, I’ve gotten a lot of great ideas from the stars as to my April Fool’s Day retaliation, but which one to pick? Hmm, sawing a car in half seems like a lot of physical labor and homo don’t play that and flour seems like it would be difficult to get out of clothing. Oh well, I’m sure I can think of something of equal effectiveness. Ok, I’m out of here, as it’s hard to rub my hands together like an evil genius and type at the same time. Happy April Fool’s Day, kids.