Hollywood: Confessions of a Fall TV Junkie
I have a confession to make…no, not that! I do have a closet, but the doors have been removed for many years now, ok?
When I was a kid, (yes, I can remember back that far!) I would read through TV Guide from cover to cover – especially when it was time for their annual Fall TV issue, where many a show synopsis would be read and other pages would be earmarked, secure in the fact that these shows would be Must See TV for me (C’mon “BJ and the Bear?” Sign me up on name value alone!).
So, I have more years than I care to comment about (it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty plus. There are you happy?) in determining what sounds like it would fly with viewers, especially with the demographic known as “us.”
I mean, it’s a safe bet that most GLBT audiences can save the hassle of wasting a half-hour on newcomer comedy “Mike & Molly,” about a couple of crazy hets who fall in love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting with a quick trip to Wal-Mart, I’m just sayin’.
Besides, come October 4, there’s competition for the newbie with the third season premiere of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” on Bravo.
So, let’s see which shows will have that certain Wessonality!
Comedy Chops With A Side Of Applesauce, Please.
“Hellcats” tells the story of Marti Perkins (Aly Michalka), a broke college student who plans to earn her law degree by way of a cheerleading scholarship. High School Musical’s Ashley Tisdale co-stars on this CW production…what did you think it was going to be on PBS?
Queer Factor: Features a lesbian cheerleader named Patty…“Go Beavers!”
Queer Detractor: While some of the gay demographic can relate to the main character’s plight (who hasn’t been there, right?), they could ultimately be disappointed when Zac Efron doesn’t re-team with his former co-star.
The long and short of Fox’s “Raising Hope” is that 23-year-old slacker Jimmy Chance (Lucas Neff) discovers that his imprisoned baby mama expects him to raise their infant daughter.
Queer Factor: Any show that stars Cloris Leachman as “Maw Maw” is a-ok in my book.
Queer Detractor: Goonies actress Martha Plimpton has been cast as Jimmy’s mother. Show of hands – how old did that last sentence make you feel?
CBS’s “$#*! My Dad Says” stars William Shatner as a politically incorrect cranky-type of parent.
Queer Factor: “Will & Grace” creators Max Mutchnick and David Kohan are two of the show’s writers, which features former “W & G” actor Tim Bagley as a gay that winds up working for Captain Jerk.
Queer Detractor: It may take some people, gay or straight, awhile to figure out what the F#*! the title means.
Dana Delany plays a medical examiner on ABC’s “Body of Proof,” in which she helps the police solve murder mysteries by “reading” the victims’ bodies. Ok, it has an original premise – think of it as “Murder, She Felt.”
Queer Factor: Delany previously, ahem, read lips when her “Desperate Housewives” character played softball, I mean, for the same-sex team last year.
Queer Detractor: No, this isn’t to be confused with the 1993 Madonna vehicle Body of Evidence, and that’s a good thing.
“The Whole Truth” and nothing but for ABC’s new lawyer show, which features both sides of the argument from prosecution and defense attorneys (Maura Tierney and Rob Morrow).
Queer Factor: Anthony Ruivivar plays a fellow lawyer who likes the fellows.
Queer Detractor: With the advent of pornography versions of shows like “Friends” cropping up in the past year, gay viewers may be miffed that the show wasn’t titled “The Hole Truth.”
Beam Me Out, Scotty!
Since “Lost” left the airwaves last season on its own accord and both “Heroes” and “Flash Forward” were thankfully put out of our and their misery, the new NBC sci-fi thriller “The Event” looks to be filling these shows collective voids. Sounds naughty.
Queer Factor: The show’s creator Nick Wauters is gay. Surprisingly, the titular “Event” wasn’t about a one day sale at Macy’s!
Queer Detractor: Wauters has said he will eventually incorporate gay characters…no time like the present there, Nick.
“Nikita,” which airs on The CW don’t cha know (reads better with a Minnesota accent), has definitely garnered a lot of buzz with its chick-who-kicks-ass storyline.
Queer Factor: We gays love us a woman that knows her way around an ass kicking!
Queer Detractor: The “Q” in star Maggie Q’s last name stands for Quigley and not queer.
I almost freaked out for a second when I thought there might be a break in Bravo’s “Real Housewives” chain. Thankfully, “Beverly Hills” makes it debut on October 14.
Queer Factor: Um, hello, it’s the “Real Housewives.”
Queer Detractor: Paris Hilton’s aunts (former child stars Kyle and Kim Richards) are two of the “Housewives.” Let’s hope for their sake that they don’t make a habit out of lending their purses to her!
LOGO’s “The A-List: New York” is being likened as a “Real Housewives” type of show.
Queer Factor: Some of the “A-Listers” are easy on the eyes.
Queer Detractor: A gay version of the “Real Housewives,” eh? Isn’t that repetitive?
In a nutshell, “Modern Family” gays Cam and Mitchell will share an on-screen kiss. Courteney Cox’s TV son will have a gay college roommate on “Cougar Town.” Julianna Margulies’ “The Good Wife” will have a gay brother. And “Glee” will feature the music of Britney Spears, a tribute to The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Chris Colfer’s character Kurt will get a boyfriend. Oh, and look for Jane Lynch to host “SNL” on October 9.
Cut. Print. That’s A Wrap!
Well only time and ratings will tell if any of these shows make it back for a second season. Until next time, that’s all of the news that’s fit to print!